Review: Vegan Sausages

The review I started that I had to temporarily walk away from...

I’ve always had a complicated relationship with sausages. In my meat eating days it wasn’t until my late twenties/early thirties that I learnt to tolerate them and even then I hated the majority of the ones I ate. Repulsed by the pale pink flesh, the unidentifiable texture and the fact the casing was made from an actual poo pipe was reason alone to avoid them. But over the years I started to enjoy a few specific variations. There was one shop whose sausages I could tolerate because they were always so heavily seasoned and packed full of meat that I wasn’t just chewing my way through fat and gristle. I’ve said it before that it took me until my mid thirties to become vegan but I’ve hated eating meat since I was a child. Sausages especially. The creation of a vegan sausage that looks like its meat counterpart took my brain some time to get used to but I gave a few a try and hoped for the best.

Spoiler alert; it was traumatic. 

Richmond’s

Price: £2.70 for 304g 

How many: 8

Flavour: Reminiscent of the traditional pork variety

Made With: Soy and wheat protein

Thoughts: Smells like bread, tastes a bit dirty and is perfect if you liked a naff soft pink sausage, you’ve just become vegan and you’re hungover. They’re also quite peppery.

Rating: 2/5 - Comparable to the sausages that I hated but I saw on the plate of many a fry up. 

Would I Buy them again? Thanks for the offer, but not for me.

Linda McCartney (Frozen)

Price: £2.50 for 270g

How many: 6

Flavour: Rosemary & red onion

Made With: Rehydrated soy protein

Thoughts: These have a chewier texture, a strong smell from rosemary and tasted sweet because of the onions. They definitely taste like an old-school vegetarian sausage that hasn’t evolved in anything but flavour since their creation. These are undoubtedly what you’d expect from a vegetarian sausage you’d receive back in the day, so far removed from a meat sausage in taste and shape (a perfect cylinder) you were the butt of the joke at the table. However there’s something calming and safe about these. You’re in good hands. I wasn’t blown away by the flavour or texture but they’re a perfectly adequate filler, a comfort and don’t taste vile. 

Rating: 3/5

Would I Buy them again? I’ve got some in the freezer for occasional use.

M&S

Price: £3.50 for 400g

How many: 6

Flavour: Traditional pork, I’m assuming, because they smell and taste of nothing at all. 

Made With: The main ingredient is water, followed by vegetable oil and shea butter, something I use on my skin. After that comes concentrated soya protein.

Thoughts: They lost their shape way too easily and ended up as a pale, golden pyramids after frying. The best thing about these was the casing which crisped up nicely, not that I ate it.

Rating: 0/5

Would I Buy them again? The only good thing about these is that they’re gluten free but not even that would make me buy them again.

Waitrose

Price: £2.75 for 280g

How many: 6

Flavour: Mediterranean style

Made With: Vegetables and beans that you can see

Thoughts: These were spicy, quite vinegary, packed full of veg with a very distinctive mediterranean flavour.  Most importantly these weren’t trying to be meat in anything other than their shape and for that, I’m grateful.  

Rating: 3/5

Would I Buy them again? Possibly

Quorn

Price: £2.75 for 270g

How many: 6

Flavour: ‘Savoury’

Made With: Mcoprotein, something I had to google.

Thoughts: Tastes cheap, feels mushy. The repulsiveness is unnecessary.

Rating: 0/5

Would I Buy them again? I’m not even going to warrant that question with an answer. Quorn, do better.

This

Price: £3.50 for 270g

How many: 6

Flavour: Pork/Standard sausage

Made With: Water, rehydrated pea protein 

Thoughts: The most sausage like vegan sausage I tried. It’s worrying how much I liked these. The texture was tight. The size, shape and colour was everything you’d want from a decent quality sausage and I was quietly impressed. They were pretty peppery too, which I enjoyed and surprised me since I don’t like black pepper in anything other than mashed potato. 

Rating: 5/5 A rare occasion that I give top marks but I honestly thought these were the most well rounded, delicious sausage like sausages.

Would I Buy them again? I would. And I have.

Heura 

Price: £3.50 for 216g

How many: 5

Flavour: Chorizo 

Made With: Water, soy protein concentrate, shea butter (again!)

Thoughts: Tight, delicious smoky flavour. Nothing like the chorizo I remember but I love them anyway. Sadly they fry TERRIBLY. Whether pan or air fried. And I don’t care. I don’t even care that they are extortionate (my local shop once had the audacity to charge £7.50 for them). I’m that hooked I would’ve paid the price had my husband not threatened me with divorce. I love them. 

Rating: 4/5 A point deducted for their commitment to the pan.

Would I Buy them again? I would and I have. Many, many times.

Beyond

Price: £4 for 200g

How many: 4

Flavour: Generic sausage flavour

Made With: Water, pea protein, cocoa butter (!) and other things. 

Thoughts: Repulsive. The most disgusting sausage I’ve ever eaten. My meat eating days included (and that’s saying something). Salty, dark pink and smells like meat. They were also lumpy. These lumpy repulsive imposters gave me the creeps.

Rating: 0/5

Would I Buy them again? Not if you paid me.

Jack & Bry

Price: £4 

How many: 4

Flavour: Sausage flavour, I presume

Made With: Jackfruit

Thoughts: Getting into the box was a mission. Tastes like they smell and like nothing I ever want to eat again. The most expensive and the most disgusting sausage I have ever eaten and I know I’ve already said that. I couldn’t work out if the overwhelming smell was the natural smell of the jackfruit or the smell of metal from the tin it came in. This confusion prompted me to contact the company to ask if they use fresh or tinned jackfruit. They didn’t reply which tells me all I needed to know. I’ve since deduced the company are no longer in business. A pity. 

Rating: 0/5

Would I Buy them again? When hell freezes over. 

To Summarise:

The overwhelmingly pungent stench of fake meat that filled my kitchen is still embedded in my nostrils and this is an experiment I will not be doing again. I tasted these things months ago and I’ve only just been able to get over the repulsiveness to write about it. 

My favourites are This and Heura and I’ve no desire to try more. Mind you I’m interested to know any vegan sausages you might enjoy even though the likelihood of me trying them is slim.